I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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