wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Randomize
