that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
