I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i want to swaddle you in tequila
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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