So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
