Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
