Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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