youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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