his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
