I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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