You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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