All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
