Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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