turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
