We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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