maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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