is your mom at the bar?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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