I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
