We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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