We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
