I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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