i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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