I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Are my feet made of real feet?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
