Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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