apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
