she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
