Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
