I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
