great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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