I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
