Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
