Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
