Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
