My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
