I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
