I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
