just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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