i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just found a bag of teeth...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
