yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
