Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
