ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The adults are the big ones right?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
