people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
