Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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