maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
