I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
