It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
