Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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