so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
