For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
