Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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