This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
