Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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